I like this quote of mine:

“Our experience is various subsets of our totality . . . drawn to our bodily consciousness, our physical situation, our needs, etc

But we’re more than a sliver of a self that has a repressed part . . . with the problem of differentiation and the social adjustment.

You could say there is an aspect of self, which we normally consider as ourselves, involved in a certain focus/reality. There’s another higher-up aspect of self that’s aware of it, and other possibilities. This is where the potentials of a wider reality or consciousness is possible. The knowledge, guidance we can encounter here in this greater realm. Not just dream symbols, feelings; but the synchronicity, experiencing, and knowing in another way.”

Friday, July 21, 2006

Originally, right from the beginning, I was working on moving past that separate mode, subject/object, passive, with random floating ideas, feelings, and images within oneself, the external world as the controller, and connecting with the real world, getting out of one’s head. As Alan Watts would say: “It exists!” “A mutual arising of Self and Existence,” as I put it. (I was only 19.) As I would see it now, there is a variable overall orientation, context, instead, rather than just a separate idea and construct, with everything tied together here, activated.

The True Self, The Essence.

The Quintessence.

You can see I was working on the levels, even then. Got the physical, then social, then the personal, identity, consciousness. Intent is there; but you can see how I started dealing with the psychoanalysis back then. I moved from that sliver of self and a repressed part, to a Self that “knows,” and can deal with those “other” parts as well. One could use those old philosophical definitions here, of the rational ego, and the transcendental ego, not just the conscious self and the unconscious.

Until I dealt with that colloquial psychoanalysis, externalization, though . . . to get past the roadblocks.

I got the Life World within the Greater World here, with “ We are Selves entwined within the universe in an interactive field of meaning and knowledge,” now.

This also sounds like the first and second attentions; but within a larger context, not something linear.

Addendum:

Ah, that makes more sense, a body ego before the development of the Rational ego . . . why meditation begins with the body, etc.

”I trace the unfolding interaction between the ego and the Dynamic Ground from the ego’s initial differentiation from the Ground (the period of the pre-Oedipal body-ego), through the ego’s repressive dissociation from the Ground (the period of the Cartesian ego and the dynamic unconscious), to, finally, the ego’s return to and reconstitution by the Ground (the period of spiritual regeneration and higher integration). “ xvi–xvii

THE EGO AND THE DYNAMIC GROUND: A Transpersonal Theory of Human Development , Michael Washburn

So, in that basic state, there’s a return to the body orientation, “body intent!” And it was me, out there, doing body things.

So, rather than just a separate self, with it’s “internalization “ of the outside world, or your “externalization,” its more like an orientation, interconnection, with the world. I could use intent and figure/ground as my rule of thumb here, rather than just rationality, for there are two functions operating together here. The biggest breakthrough here for me was to get past that typical conscious/unconscious duality.  I can relate to these abstractions.

Transformations . . . further perspectives of Self and World. . .

This ecology of flow, with the emergent core options . . .

Like a poet, pulling his words from an infinity of options . . .

It was like I was in this creative position, like the director of a symphony, with my hands and arms outstretched in front of me, rhythmically sweeping, creating this canvas of hanging fabric.

Likewise, in the battled woman/man interpretations, which involves selectivity, I aimed for something more intrinsic. I transformed into another kind of man, with different mannerisms, as I talked with the woman. I directed an instruction to my “Ai chip,” with the resultant page of a black and white line drawing of a woman’s countenance. There was a spark of light and I had the presence of a more energetic woman. Overall, I was out of the typical generic interpretations, that people were doing battle over.

Conversely, I was investigating a situation I didn’t like, and it was like I uncovered this old glass jar, brought it up, and gathered it to myself, rather than being selective and going for something I liked.

Sitting there within one’s “life world orientation” . . . rather than tearing these perceptions apart, as in the old days, its more like interlocking with those other aspects, a quick spontaneous change. Sorting my self out here. Or the experience tearing you apart, like with Jung.

A switch, to another aspect of the figure/ground, like I was standing there in another body, looking down at my big luminous hobbit feet, or lying there, in my larger “plasma” body. Another switch and I was in some other focused space; but well defined, focused, real.

The typical inner space took on further aspects, like viewing a cityscape, with the feel of an oblong ship, body, flying towards it. There was the presentation of a curved sense of Self, as a house. Back then, hey?

Images. But then the sense of space, motion. Activation.

I was prancing around in a circle, like my cat going around me, in the morning.

A luminous goose, in a colorful space.

Them, but like on a colorful card. Considerations . . . results . . .