Intuitively, when I was younger, I knew there was something “more” . . . to be a good kid, not enough.

The “more” is the real issue . . . and its not just the nasty. I had to find some real paths here, not just play the game . . . all you lost souls!

That sounds fairly safe, as Maslow explained, we are in a position of growth, development, Self-actualization. The issues begin at the more cognitive levels, how we interpret things, define ourselves and world . . . like the “ego idea,” which I first heard of in Psychology 1000.

My path began with Colin Wilson, where I got my “core” foundations . . . “intentionality.”

Theory is one thing, and what people say is another; but this is based on actual functioning and experiences . . . “core functioning.” Focused intent brings up an increased sense of reality! Its a feeling of strength, knowing one is being one’s true self, in the place of being grounded. There’s ways of evolution, growth, positivity possible here. There’s reasons for it, and there is much to learn. I had experiences that kept me going.

I started with the idea of we are a part of the whole; then I tried to be more functional. I realized we are actually interconnected, with intentionality, to the world, reality. Then we are in an intermediate zone here, within a greater reality, in which we can do our work . . . not just either Evil or Holy. Middle Earth. There are a lot of systems out there, I discovered, that have this.

So, you could see I’ve changed my overall generic context. Rather than the little misfit, with the negative around . . . its “all crazy,” to the Life World within the Greater World. The Age of Separateness, as the aboriginals put it, has put us there . . . like in Freudianism, Christianity, as far as the Western World goes. Pretty nasty. (Of course, when I’m speaking of Christianity, I’m thinking of the Roman interpretation. They weren’t Gnostic like the original ones. I read what they said . . . “How could we be “here” and “there:” its impossible!” They truly felt they were separate. Not that high up the spiritual ladder as they claim. I speak of “mutuality” . . . “a mutual arising of Self and Existence.” Physics has “Fields” these days.)

This orientation, aligning oneself to it, one’s life starts making changes. Its like opening up to the multifaceted nature of oneself and the universe. Its not just the shadow; but it means becoming activated in a different way . . . “the other” . . . the more intrinsic nature of oneself, in action.

Its that “Special World,” interconnected, one with the Universe . . . not just with Earth down here with Heaven above. We could move from the Freudian, Christian dualities, into something Joseph Campbell would speak about . . . the Hero’s Journey! Its like we all came down to Earth, though, then had to reconnect with the whole. Christ, representative of our Hero’s Quest.

Therefore, who we are, or think we are, isn’t just an idea, or that description: there’s that “other part,” the “hidden one” as some would say, our intrinsic nature that is one with the universe and is in touch with all those multifaceted realities. Its one’s self that can kick in and take one beyond those apparent views. The “Master.”

With this multifaceted possibility, I began being careful about getting too involved with something like the internalization/externalization issue. I thought I had more potentialities than this battle. So, if you saw a difference in me, I was in a state of “consideration.” There are various ways to deal with and orientate oneself within all these issues, evolving perspectives. I am following the various “Intent Pathways” this time.

Eventually, I realized, as far as this “construct” goes . . . I was understanding the “form” aspect, and one’s independence here . . . but that it was also integrated and interactive within the ground. Once I realized that, I was then able to make that big leap, and things were happening. “One’s Meaning” is imbedded within larger interactive meanings . . . I got the Life World within the Greater World from this. I realized its why we dream, being within a larger potential, evolutionary position, impinging upon us. We are that ultimately. A personal change of context occurred: I was able to escape from that generic thing people were doing, go past that colloquial psychoanalysis, even the typical ideas of the unconscious which was holding me back, and get into motion with truly intrinsic meanings, ways!

Then recently, always finding something, along comes Ouspensky and Gurdjieff . . . those talks about the four bodies, three forces. Lee would be orientated within the feeling/desire one, working on her emotions, and Faith. Of course, I would be in that fourth one, with I, consciousness, and Will. This one does it all in one “movement,” a body, feeling, and understanding all there. It all seemed so synchronous, with his talk of external influences from one side, to gathering it all up from the other way . . . the Fourth Way. His talk of the various interrelations and issues was moving me along here: where I was was where he started elucidating more! But that was 100 years ago!

Seeing the future? Reincarnation?

Our Life World within the Greater World . . .

Like moving from the first or second person, to the third . . . the third gate (someone knew) . . . in which one could enter someone else’s dream, or be somewhere else . . . the arena of old sorcerer’s powers and assemblage points?

For me, I took steps forward here when I realized we are “Selves entwined within the universe in an interactive field of meaning and knowledge” It freed me up, got me within this larger context of meaning, and made sense of what is going on. This construct, personal meaning, is imbedded within something larger . . . why we dream, move along . . . like the Mandala, or the Gestalt.

But, there’s also a newer foundation here . . . The Fourth Way . . . dealing with the “objective” . . . “knowledge and being” . . . (Whoa!, hey?) The new sorcerers?

“In trying to understand this it must be remembered at the same time that people cannot observe phenomena as manifestations of three forces because we cannot observe the objective world in our subjective states of consciousness. And in the subjectively observed phenomenal world we see in phenomena only the manifestation of one or two forces. If we could see the manifestation of three forces in every action, we should then see the world as it is (things in themselves).”

Ouspensky, P. D.. In Search of the Miraculous: Complete with Diagrams . Toward Publishing. Kindle Edition.

“The third force is a property of the real world. The subjective or phenomenal world of our observation is only relatively real, at any rate it is not complete.”

Ouspensky, P. D.. In Search of the Miraculous: Complete with Diagrams . Toward Publishing. Kindle Edition.

“Not one of you has noticed the most important thing that I have pointed out to you,” he said. “That is to say, not one of you has noticed that you do not remember yourselves.” (He gave particular emphasis to these words.) “You do not feel yourselves; you are not conscious of yourselves. With you, ‘it observes’ just as ‘it speaks’, ‘it thinks’, ‘it laughs’. You do not feel: I observe, I notice, I see. Everything still ‘is noticed’, ‘is seen’. … In order really to observe oneself one must first of all remember oneself”

Ouspensky, P. D.. In Search of the Miraculous: Complete with Diagrams . Toward Publishing. Kindle Edition.

In that internalization/externalization issue, I was asking; “What about me?” So, one can consider one’s “intrinsic nature,” as I put it, or Gurdjieff’s objective stance, as he explained it.